To bear another cross
Mood:  sad

Sometimes I can’t help but question why I got better. I was deeply ill back then. I was in excruciating pain and was unable to move and do simple tasks. Pulling my body up from bed was a painful ordeal in itself. Every movement had to be planned.  To escape the pain, I practically slept the whole day. Even so, I always felt tired. I wanted to die, not because I was giving up but because I was useless.

 

 

Anyone who saw me back then knew instantly that I was sick. It was at that point in my life that I decided to go to the province. I said to myself that either I will get better or I will die trying. I stopped all my meds and willed my body to move.   

 

Miraculously, I slowly gained my strength and the pain that I felt lessened. I thought that God must have something in store for me. I can not describe exactly in words the physical and emotional pain I felt then. I was just thankful that it was finally gone.

 

But now, I feel that what I am tasked to do is too much for me. The day to day anguish and mental torture is suffocating. Even sleeping, which was my refuge then, offers no escape. I see no light at the end of the tunnel. My back is already against the wall. No one is willing to help. Those that do show interest are driven by their own selfish motives. I guess trust is hard to come by these days.

 

This cross is to much for me to bear.

The Lies have Started
Mood:  blue

I attended a preliminary investigation last Dec 6 in behalf of my mom. The charge stemmed from an unfunded check my late brother (and his wife)issued. Without my mom's knowledge, he had used a blank company check pre-signed by her (for emergency purposes) to secure a loan. In fact, the complainant herself narrates that it was my brothers assistant who approached her to borrow money and it was her who received the money as well. That in exhange for the loan the assistant agreed to an interest of 5% a month. It appears that she believed it was the assistants own personal check she was receiving and she (complainant) did not scrutinize the check. Had she did, she would have found it peculiar that it was a company check signed by a different person. I guess she was to eager to think of the interest she was going to get. She only learned who the signatory of the check was when it bounced.

When I got home, I had to rush to another court. Unfortunately, another case was filed by another person whom my brother also got a loan from. I had to secure copies of the complaint which I had to take the lawyer. This was a far more serious complaint since it has been forwarded for investigation. The lawyer had to file a response for fear that a warrant may be issued for my mom. This complainant alleges that it was my mom who personally secured from him a loan sometime January 2007 at a mall. He was lyong through his teeth. My mom (and us) did not even know who he was. The first time we saw and talked to him was during my brothers wake. He has resorted to lying just to make his complaint stick. It was my late brother who got loans from him since early 2006 using my mothers pre-signed blank company checks. He happily obliged the loans for he was earning exhorbitant interest from my brother as high as 10 % per month. I guess that as long as he received his interest, he did not find it peculiar that the checks he received was not signed by my brother.

Now that what my brother has done has been uncovered, they are desperate to pin the blame on my mom. The lies have started and it breaks my spirit to see the the physical and emotional toll that it is taking on her. Sometimes I feel so angry that I want to take things in my own hands. What's worst is that some people, with their own personal gain in mind, see that we are desperate for money want to bleed us dry even more. Christmas is far from our mind. I just pray we survive.

       

A Hopeless Cause?

It was too naive of me to think that things will eventually work out. I half expected that when people, who my mom selflessly (and religiously) served and helped throughout the years, came to know of her current predicament - there will be an outpouring of generosity. I whole heartedly believed that nothing untoward will happen to my mom because of all the good things that she had done in her life.

 All my efforts to secure a loan has failed miserably. I have offerred our house as collateral for the loan and even for sale - still no takers. It is really quite frustrating to be in this situation. I do understand that times are very hard. With this economy, no one will trust you or at least give you a chance. 

I have pinned my hopes on a distant friend who expressed concern and a possible solution. But maybe reality set in and I haven't heard from him since. To date, I am now personally in debt trying to ease the situation and settle minor problems. I estimate that it will take me three years to pay that off with my own meager salary. Considering that my employment status is now on and off - it is the most I can offer.

Just today I learned that a warrant of arrest may be issued against my mother at anytime. This was a result of one of the loans my late brother and her wife  secured without my moms knowledge. We can not even pay for the services of a lawyer and worst to post bail. We are already struggling for our daily living as it is. On top of that is the fear that we may be evicted from our own home before the year ends. 

What my late brother and her wife has snowballed into one gigantic mess. I fear that our family can hold out for so long. I dont know what will happen or what to do next. I have explored everything, even begging for help.

To those who by chance gets to read this, please pray for my mom and our family. May the Lord God give me guidance and patience. And to the generous persons who donated and trusted us....may He shower you and your family with blessings a hundred fold.

This is the saddest Christmas we will ever have.......     

Still No Luck
Mood:  sad
I feel that world is slowly crumbling all around us. To date, several letters have been sent to my mother demanding payment for the loans my eldest brother left our family. Each day I wake up to more problems than the day before. I fear that my best efforts to shield my mother from further pain, isn't enough. I am running out of options.

It is quite disheartening to be shunned by people you thought of as friends. Truly, you get to learn who your friends are when you are down. However, in the midst of all of this I have learned that there are still a few people who can still show compassion. A former high school schoolmate took the time to offer words of encouragement and give me hope. I owe him more than he will ever know.

Updates
Mood:  sad
I just wanted to pop in to update those of you who are keeping track of our plight. Right now we still haven't been successful in finding an individual or institution willing to give us a loan. If you are reading this and know someone who can help us please send us an email at amateur_artist07@yahoo.com

On a postivie note, we received another donation via Paypal which brings the total to $11. Thank you so much to the kind-hearted individual who sent us a donation, your generosity is a blessing!

For those who would like to help us by sending a donation, you can do so by clicking on the Paypal button. Any amount will help, thank you so much!

Thank you to our first donors!
Mood:  a-ok
I'd like to say thank you to our two first donors who wish to remain anonymous. You have made our day and made us feel hopeful. It's true, there are angels among us and random acts of kindness still exist. Thank you!

We still have a long way to go, please watch the video and read the whole story below.

Watch our video on Youtube
Mood:  not sure

HOW YOU CAN HELP
Mood:  blue
There are different ways you can help me raise funds:

1. By giving us a loan. I know a huge amount is at stake but I will furnish you more details before we proceed. All we need is someone who will trust us and give us a break. We will repay you, it may take long but rest assured you will be paid. You can contact me at amateur_artist07@yahoo.com

2. By sending donations via Paypal. Any amount will do and will be greatly appreciated. In return I will send you a copy of one of my artworks through email. You can browse my art gallery here. You can send donations by clicking the Paypal button.

3. You can also help us by promoting this blog to your family, friends and online groups.

4. And of course by praying for us.

You can read the whole story on why I need to raise funds from the entry below. If you're wondering who I am, get to know me by going to my other websites:

My website on cardboard models
My other blog on the Orble network
My gallery on Deviant Art
My articles on Associated Content

Thank you to anyone who are willing to bestow their kindness and trust on me and my family. God bless to all.

CRUEL FATE
Mood:  down
Sometimes fate can play cruel tricks. I often look back at how things could have turned out differently for me and my family if only I had decided differently.

ABOUT ME AND MY FAMILY

Picture above: Our family during happier times.

I graduated with an Engineering degree in 1990 but was unable to take the board and practice when my father died just 2 months after. It was during this time that we learned of the debts that my father incurred in setting up our small family business which was at the time of its infancy. Even our house was mortgaged. To make things short, I ended up in the family business to do my share in helping settle the problems. However, at the back of my mind I hoped that one day I would be able to practice my degree when things get better. However, that was not the case.

Mismanagement by my eldest brother and a business venture to earn extra income that ultimately failed threatened to bankrupt us completely. It was during this time that I took the helm. We managed to secure a loan that was to be paid out in 7 years. It was short of what we needed but somehow we had to make do.

In the process of rebuilding our business I forgot to take care of myself and the stress took its toll on my body. I became diabetic and my health went downhill from there. I took pride in finally redeeming the deed to our house. Now very sick, I was forced to turn over the reigns of the business back to my eldest brother. Although the business still had a few problems, with the right moves it was on its way back to recovery.

This was a fatal mistake. Greed reared its ugly head and my eldest brother started to enrich himself. He demanded a salary for himself and even employed his wife as accountant in the business.

At the same time my body started to experience excruciating pain. I felt stiffness and loss of joint articulation all over my body. I was physically unable to get up let alone find work. Although I consulted numerous doctors and was under medication, it did very little to ease the pain and improve my condition. Sadly, my vision started to blur and soon I can only vaguely make out faces. Having no money, I stayed in this state for almost 2 years and went into depression.

A FLICKER OF HOPE

Picture above: The 4 of us get along fine, but somehow we were always at odds with our eldest brother.

With the help and encouragement of my sisters together with a compassionate former schoolmate, now an eye surgeon, vision on one eye was restored. Although I had to wear reading glasses this tremendously helped in lifting up my spirits. Improvements in my diet and exercise brought slight relief in the pain and I was able to move (with a limp) about the house.

By chance, a writer for an e-learning company took notice and referred me to her boss. Their company was really looking for a writer, but she gambled on me even though she learned that I was sick and can only work at home. She took me under her wing and I started to write and illustrate storyboards. Soon I started to do simple flash illustrations and animations. After a few months, the company decided to employ me full-time. I was ecstatic and very thankful. I started earning some decent money and gained back my dignity. I decided to forget all the bad things that had happened and start my life from this point onwards.

ANOTHER TRAGEDY

Picture above: Now we may lose the home we grew up in.

I remember a phrase from Al Pacino in Godfather 3 which goes something like, "Just as I was about to get out, they pull me back right in.” My eldest brother died last April 16,2007. It was after his death that we learned of what he and his wife did to the business.

The company is $100,000 in debt! He and his wife used the company checks to secure unauthorized loans from different people. They even managed to mortgage our house without any of us knowing. People I did not know from Adam, started calling and coming to our house to demand payment. Nine days after his death, his wife took their kids and everything they own and left their rented apartment without informing us. She turned off her cellphone and left no forwarding address. Using what little records was left behind; I took it upon myself to find out what had happened.

The night before his death, he was still frantically calling and going to different people to secure loans. I guess the shame of being found out was too much and he suffered a heart attack.

Although we had our differences I deeply mourn my brother's death and wish things could've turned out differently. And yet we are left with the overwhelming fact that he mismanaged the business and are now faced with a tragic predicament.

My brother used company checks signed by my mother. He even tricked her to hand over the title of the house which he used to secure a loan. Ultimately, she is the one liable for all the bad checks my brother and his wife issued since they were all company checks. With nothing to mortgage, we can not secure a loan. All we have is our business and our commitment to help my mother. She is deeply religious and spends her time doing charity work for the church. She is already 66 years old and does not deserve to suffer. A life on the run or facing court is not the way she is supposed to spend her twilight years. Already, creditors have initiated steps to sue our company and our mother to recover their money.

WE NEED YOUR HELP - PLEASE

We need to secure a loan of $ 100,000 to pay off creditors. We are not seeking a hand-out. We can pay you back but it might take awhile. We still have the company and existing clients to generate income and pay back the loan. We have all agreed to help out our mother and exercise prudence in operating the company. I was the one in charge of the company when I was still paying off the initial mortgage of the house. If I can do it then, then I can do it now.

PLEASE to anyone willing to help, this is one family’s desperate plea for assistance. We promise we can pay off the loan and we are willing to send you details/information about the company and how we plan to pay the loan. God Bless You!


You can contact me for further details at amateur_artist07@yahoo.com

My thanks to:


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